The Ben Bailey Odyssey

I could have easily posted this blog entry as "One of the greatest nights of my life." Okay, well that's a little dramatic, but it was awesome. For those of you idiots who don't know, Benjamin Bailey is a talented comedian for the Discovery Channel's game show "Cash Cab." You can scope out his website here. I have been hunting for the Cash Cab since I got to this city. I've sent him messages via his Myspace page asking when he's performing next. Early last week I saw a bulletin he posted saying he was performing at Rascal's Comedy Club in Montclair, New Jersey. Here's a mapquest page so you can see how far it is from NYC - especially when you don't have a car.

It was an odyssey of the ages. My sister came with me. I convinced her to do her homework on the train. The show started at 8PM. We left our apartment at 6:10. We took the 20 minute subway ride, 5 minute walk to NY Penn Station, the 30 minute train to Newark New Jersey, and then the 30 minute bus from Newark to Montclair. With all the transferring, waiting and travel, we got to Rascal's at 8:20PM. Luckily the show had only started a few minutes prior to our arrival.

The NJ bus was depressing - and we kept almost getting off at the wrong stop (about 4 times). The bus driver shouted out at the other patrons "Any of you know where Rascal's Comedy Club is?" It was really embarassing. Well, we got there. Benjamin Bailey was/is hilarious! So, it was totally worth it. Oh, just wait, my friends, it gets tons better!

After the show, I wanted to buy one of Ben's CD's - mostly so I could talk to him and ask for a picture. We joked around a bit, talked about being super heroes - cuz, duh!, we are. I asked for a picture and he laughed because I was standing so awkwardly (in the wake of his greatness!). He said "I'm not gonna bite you or anything!" Oh, Ben Bailey! You can all view my awkwardness above.

I told him I was a big fan of his and of "Cash Cab." He asked me if I knew the license plate number of it. I answered without having to think and he high-fived me! We told him we came all the way from Manhattan to see him perform. He was flabbergasted. I kept exaggerating the trip - but really, it was quite the trek. He said "I feel like I should give you guys a ride back or something!" AND THEN HE DID! HOLY CRAP! My sister and I did our homework in the bar of the comedy club while he finished up a quick interview and then got paid. I kept thinking how glorious it all was. Imagine my sister reading for her grad school stuff, me studying for the LSAT and a bunch of drunken buffoons wondering what the hell we were doing. "What, was the library closed?" asked someone.

Ben came over and we kept joking that he was like our dad taking us home as we waited for him patiently and did our homework. It was bizarre - in a great way...which is kind of the motto I have for life. Anyway, I was bummed that he doesn't drive the Cash Cab as his day car - which I expressed to him, but he said we could still do trivia on the trip and adhere to the three-strike rule; he'd kick us out in the middle of Jersey if we answered incorrectly.

The trip, overall, wasn't very awkward at all. We joked around a metric ton. He told us insider info on the Cash Cab, we talked about funny stories, his reasons for doing comedy, we accused him of being racist - although he most certainly is not, and about Catholic priests and sodomy. He is such a cool dude. He laughed at our jokes. He made tons of his own. And he refused our money when we offered to pay his gas.

We finally got into the city and he kept complaining about the bumpy streets cuz he had to piss. He dropped us off and we said "Well, if you need to piss, you can use our apartment." He kind of chuckled then his face turned serious and he promptly stated "You know, I think I need to take you up on that." Ben Bailey walked up the five floors on our ghetto stairs and pissed in our toilet. Now, there is a guy who cares about his fans - and his bladder. When he was done he was gracious enough to sign my CD. Hence, this picture is of him in my apartment. Amazing! As he said his goodbye he added, "Man, I feel like we need to hug or something." Ha. So we did. He's a fantastical man, a hilarious comedian, a great cab driver and a tall beast! Check out what he wrote on my CD:

"Tanya, It was fun peeing at your apartment."

What a night!