I am in San Francisco - well, the Bay, rather. I am en route to Costa Rica and didn't want to get stuck in a lame New York "snow" storm like I did two weeks ago. So, I hopped on a plane to visit my fam-a-lam for a few days before I have to fly from LAX to SJO (the Rich Coast).
On my flight was this man shown at the right: David f'in Cross. No, not this guy, but this one.
Anyhow, I noticed him as he boarded the plane and I frantically called my sister, Cristoff Walters dot com, and my bestest - Erca Whale. None of the assholes picked up! I hope they all get Gonorrhea.
I mildly stalked Mr. Cross whenever I went to the bathroom on the plane. (I took a few unnecessary trips to the tiny bathhouse just to catch glimpses of him working on his top,lap). I vowed to make real human contact with him when we deplaned and went to the baggage carousel.
As I hustled to the baggage claim, I talked to my sister via mobular phone and maniacally searched for Mr. Cross. He was nowhere to be found. Rather than give up - I ain't never been no quitter! - I kept looking. I walked outside the airport. I circled the different baggage carousels. I read the drivers' signs for a "Mr. Cross," etc. until the glorious moment I spotted him.
He was hurriedly walking outside towards a black sedan. I ran to cut him off and intersect his route. I was so convinced I'd say something witty and quaint, and he'd indubitably laugh and stop for a brief chat. Nonsense. I stood there, in his path, smiled, pointed at him and yelled "The Analrapist!" (If you don't watch Arrested Development, you're a dumdum!) After this, I did some sort of weird, two fingered soldier salute. HA! I am so lame. Oh well. He smiled at me, raised his cup of joe as a "How do you do?" and continued briskly walking by.
I got served, friends. Served, indeed. I guess I just never considered myself to be so awkward. I am. Oh well.
Lateskis, brosefs! (puke puke puke)
Tangerina
6 comments:
um... GREAT, that's what you are. you're going to be that crazy wench he talks about when he makes appearences on talk shows... you are HENCEFORTH infamous
(you get creepy hippie and gross 2)
HA... WELCOME BACK TO THE WESTCOAST BREEZIE.
<3, ADRIAN
Holy hell! You got to meet THE David Cross?! I feel like a minor celebrity just knowing you! Freals!
According to imdb.....
http://imdb.com/title/tt0367279/trivia
"Will Arnett beat out Rainn Wilson for the part of GOB during the final round of auditions."
WHAT THE HELL???? Can you imagine DWIGHT playing GOB??? Inconceivable.
I hope he noticed you on the plane but tried to play it off like all celebs do...and then I hope he was pissed when he got into the limo that undoubtedly whisked him to his destination. "How many goddamn times can a person be called an analrapist," he probably thought to himself, angrily, bile rising from the combo of stress, hostility, and coffee. At least, that's how I see you; you often make my bile rise, but that's because you're so damn pretty
congrats on making it out the cold terror that is new york winter
That story is great. I would have looked just as awkward, and I guess I'm a dum dum bc I haven't seen arrested development.
You can educate me on it as I educate you on chic-fil-a. It's a fast food chicken place but it's not nasty greasy fast food, it's really yummy chicken...the BEST chicken! They have them in California, I'm suprised you don't know it! We'll make a trip to the village so you can try it! Are you back yet?
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