Hi. I have insomnia tonight. So, pay no mind to what time this was posted at. Fuck you, don't judge me. It's an illness...kind of...that I create myself by watching t.v. all day and sleeping in late. Whatever.
Why I really wanted to post was because I was utterly ecstatic reading my Lifer's recent blog entry. It made me chuckle. Oh, her and that butter-crotch of hers! After viewing her blog, I came to find myself in a similar sticky situation. (Pun definitely intended). See, I got my crotch waxed today. Whatever. Fuck you. I do it. And! you're gonna read about it. Get over it. Pussy Pussy Pussy. Who cares? I have one. And! I get hairs ripped from it with hot wax. Big whoop.
Anyway! I figured: Shit, I'm going to Aruba in two days, I don't wanna be no tarantula pants while I'm on the beach. Time to wax that shiyet. So, I went to this place in Greenwich Village. I've gone there before. The lady and I speak Portuguese to each other and it's very fun. Regardless. She was basically being very professional about everything and even tweezing some shit she missed -- I must add that we were both very silent during the whole process; she's quite matronly and I felt a little awkward just shootin' the shit (gross imagery) with her while she stared at my cooch. As she finished - and I lay there half nekkid - she turns to me, smiles, pats my crotch, says (in Portuguese) "Well, Happy Easter" and turns to leave. It was all very awkward.
She came in later to clean up after I had gotten dressed again and when I gave her a tip she said "Oh, thank you, my love." This caused me to feel an exponential amount of awkwardness because, not just minutes prior, she was face deep in my poon. Whatever.
The End.
2 comments:
tweezing the cooch sounds more painful than waxing.
When I was younger my mother used to call that area my "plota" (spelling???) I think it's portugese for "love snatch." Next time you're there you should drop some knowledge.
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